I've never posted here before, but read all the time. I recently finished grad school and, after months of useless job searching, landed a part-time seasonal job at a huge national retail chain (think Walmart, but not). The last few days have been particularly stressful as the holidays make shoppers crazy. For instance, a couple days ago I took a call from a woman who began crying with relief when I found the last Swan Palace then shed tears of terror when I jokingly tried to calm her fears by saying, "yes, ma'am, the item should be fine behind the guest service desk. No, no one will take it if I put your name on it. Not unless some thief comes by in the night! Haha! No...no, ma'am...ma'am, I was kidding. We aren't expecting any break-ins. I'm sorry. No, we have great security. I'm sorry. Please don't cry."

None of the situations below are absolutely terrible, but bad (or frequent) enough for me to find them at least moderately obnoxious, appalling, or perplexing.


Notes to uninformed, lazy, indecisive, racist, and hot holiday shoppers:


( Uninformed )


( Lazy )


( Indecisive )


( Racist )


( Hottie )

how does it feel: weird

I'm diggin' the good idea/bad idea format.

Good idea: Put a tip in the tip jar.

Bad idea: Steal the tip jar. Leave me chewed gum, candy wrappers, or your phone number in it.

Good idea: Quietly waiting your turn in line to approach the Dippin' Dots Cashier.

Bad idea: As I am scooping ice cream and making change for a customer, yell "Hey! Hey you! HEY! I want a chocolate ice cream! HELLOOO!"

Good idea: When the mall announces they are closing in 15, 10, then 5 minutes, go get your Dippin' Dots NOW.

Bad idea: The clock has been stuck at 8:59 for about 50 seconds. I have turned my lights off. As it switches to 9:00, RUN up to me in a large group of mom and teens (that has been hanging out horseplaying and chatting next to my stand for 20 minutes) and demand ice cream. When I tell you I'm sorry, I'm closed, and I cannot stay open late because I'm driving to Pittsburgh (5 hours) for a funeral the next day- yell and scream at me, demand my manager's number, "her HOME number", and tell me you'll get me fired.

Then, harass and disrespect my manager at her home number (she was pissed at you and supported me), and the mall, who really doesn't care. Then, come in with your teens and ask for job applications. Fill them out and give them back to me. (REALLY a bad idea. Yes, I told my boss they were from you. Yes, she told me to throw them out.)

Good idea: Yes, as most ice cream places do, we give free samples. Please wait in line patiently to get a sample. Try one, and either thank me nicely and decline to buy anything, or buy some ice cream. If you're interested in getting some, I'll give you a couple samples to help you choose.

Bad idea: Cut the line and yell to get my attention for a free sample. Demand one. Demand five. Demand a sample for your mom, your sister, and your goat. Come back to get another sample every 15 minutes. Take a sample, then berate me for the cost of buying ice cream. Ask for a sample while telling me "I don't want to buy this crap I just want to try it" (Don't SAY that, it's rude).

Good idea: When you ask for a certain flavor of ice cream and your child doesn't like it, eat it yourself and buy another. If you're nice to me, I'll give you 20% off.

Bad idea: When your child doesn't like the ice cream, huff back to me and demand a new cup for free. I am NOT allowed to do this! You're using twice the amount of product, you have to pay for it.

Good idea: When you have babies, set your bag down on the counter. Pull out your money while holding baby.

Bad idea: Set your drooling baby in his stinking diaper right on top of the see-through ice cream case, leaving smears and drool all over.

Good idea: Put your trash in one of 3 trashcans within steps of the counter.

Bad idea: Leave your used spoons, empty cups, and general crap all over the counter and floor.

Good idea: Pay the price listed for the ice cream.

Bad idea: Verbally bash me and try to talk me into giving you free or discounted ice cream. Tell me how our ice cream isn't worth that.

I just had a woman refuse to buy her preteen daughter an etched pint glass (which just had a guitar on it) because it's "for beer." She would not listen to any protestation that involved the logic of "the glass doesn't know what you put in it, it's just a pint glass, you can fill it with anything" and even went so far as to say it was inappropriate that my store carry pint glasses and tumbler size glasses because it "encourages drinking" and children come into the store. I politely explained again that the glasses are for any liquid you wish to fill them with, and she not so politely told me that I was being rude.

Good thing she didn't notice the ash trays or, heaven forbid, the cooking aprons. YOU CAN BAKE NAUGHTY SHAPED COOKIES, DID YOU KNOW THIS!? THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!! THIS APRON ENCOURAGES FORNICATION.

She also proceeded to leave her empty coffee cup AND bag of half eaten donuts on a shelf near the our jewelery. I saw her carrying it around the store. Awesome! I love cleaning up other people's trash. While working the register. During the holidays.

how does it feel: EVERYONE IS CRAZY

I received a gourmet gift basket from a client.  It contains several jars of stuff I have never tried before.  What can I do with this stuff?  How can I eat it?  Any suggestions?  All ideas appreciated.

Hot Eggplants in Oil

12 Vegetable Antipasta (just put on crackers?)

Spicy Green Beans (I know some people use them instead of celery in Caesars)

Italian Style Roasted Peppers (someone suggested putting these and cream cheese in a food processor to make a dip)

Tags: help: what to make
how does it feel: confused

One of my favorite snacks. In this one, I grew the tomatoes & basil, and used buffalo mozzarella. Yum!

Russian cusine but known in Europe and ex-USSR countries.



More in my Blog

Tags: soup
where?: Russian Federation, Екатеринбург
soundtrack to the scenery: The Von Bondies - Pale Bride | Powered by Last.fm

I present to you all a Christmas roast. It's the perfect holiday meal. This roast beef is rich and flavorful, while still very buttery and tender without actually using any butter! Believe it, friends, for I speak the truth. This roast beef is perfection. I had never made a roast beef before, so I was extremely happy with this meal. The outside was crusty, lightly spicy, and expertly seasoned. You don't need a lot of fancy ingredients for this roast beef; you probably already have all of the ingredients in your pantry. I served this with mashed potatoes and Kramer and I were in heaven. The best part about this roast beef are the sandwiches you can make with it the next day. There's nothing better! If you're making Christmas dinner on Friday and still unsure as to what to make, this is the recipe, I promise! Recipe after the cut or on my blog at The Crepes of Wrath.

Happy Holidays!

( Unbelievably Easy Roast Beef )

Tags: beef, dinner, recipe, roast, savory

I blame a crappy day at work, and omnipresent holiday music. Hearing "it's the most wonderful time of the year" for the zillionth time, and muttering under my breath "no it's not the most wonderful time, it's the most harrowing time!" led to this. I hope this brings some of my fellow wage-slaves a chuckle.

It’s the most harrowing time of the year,
Behind the cash register,
We’re getting edgier,
Black Friday’s here,
It’s the most harrowing time of the year.
( Read more... )

The recipes for the 2009 effort. I don't know if I'll succeed, but I'm going to try!

Wednesday: Make the chill-ahead items, like the gingerbread and pie dough.

Thurs & Fri (morning): Bake!

Friday Eve: Christmas party at my house, with Christmas Dinner (I'm not catering to that, except with breads and sweets).

( Ginger Cookies (a.k.a. Gingerbread) )




( Scotch Shortbread with Jam )




( Banana Bread )



( Santa's Whiskers )



( Chocolate Chip Cookies )



( Pumpkin Pie )




( Anzac Biscuit Recipe )




( Caramel Apple Pie-Tart-Thing )



( Grandma Pawlak's Homemade Bread )




( Mincemeat Drop Cookies )

The stories you are about to read are true. The groceries have been changed to protect their expiration dates.

This is the city, Malaga, New Jersey. I carry a nametag.

It was Tuesday, December 22, 2009. It was cold in Malaga. We were working the day watch out of the front end. My supervisor is Genie, the Mighty Hunter Before the Lord. The boss is Bob, the Burgermeister Meisterburger. My name's Thursday; I'm a cashier.

( See I’m wise enough to know when a gift needs givin’… and I got just the one… something to show you that you are second to none… )

( On the twelfth day my true love gave to me… twelve drummers drumming like Olympus upon the Serengeti… eleven pipers piping… ten lords a-leaping… )

( He’ll never love you… the way that I love you… ‘cause if he did, he wouldn’t… make you cry… )

( Seasons change with the scenery… weaving time in a tapestry… won’t you stop and remember me… )

I'm a newbie cook, but for years my mother has made Microwave Fudge that everyone loves. Unfortunately I can't get the specific recipe from her right now, but Google found me this one that after comparing with several others, seems to be the same thing. I've made it once before with her recipe, yesterday was my second try.

It came out tasting a lot more like powdered sugar than chocolate. :/

Do I lessen the sugar, increase the cocoa, do something else or find a different recipe?

Tags: help: adjust flavor

I'm looking for ideas and/or recipes for some kind of yummy favor that could be sent home with guests after a dinner. There will be sugary desserts galore at the dinner itself so I'm trying to find a take-along nibble that will balance that out.

My first thought was some kind of snack mix, but that doesn't feel very special. Any other ideas? We'll be doing this for a crowd of about 40.


ETA: I forgot to add, we do have one guest with a peanut allergy. It's not a severe allergy--basically only triggered by ingesting the actual peanut, but not foods that have been in contact with peanuts. Other nuts are fine to the best of my knowledge.

New-ish job as a barista in Barnes & Noble.

The cafe in B&N is NOT a freestanding Starbucks. We're still technically B&N, we just sell Starbucks coffee. We don't accept the Starbucks cards, we don't carry their gift cards, and we have a slightly more limited menu. I understand that it's confusing, and thankfully most customers can accept these facts, only occasionally with a certain degree of attitude. But this lady...

GCL=Gift Card Lady
Me=Me!
FP=Fellow Patron

10:15pm at B&N cafe (we close at 11pm)
GCL: Hi, I need a $15 gift card.
Me: Ok, just to let you know, we don't carry the Starbucks gift cards, we only carry Barnes & Noble gift cards. (Usually, this is the case when anyone asks us for gift cards. This phrase has replaced "yes" as my answer)
GCL: ...but I need it tonight.
Me: Well, if you need, there's a freestanding Starbucks in the shopping center across the street...
FP: Actually, they closed at 9.
GCL: But I really needed this tonight. You can't sell any Starbucks gift cards?
Me: I'm really sorry, but unfortunately, we're still technically Barnes & Noble, we just sell Starbucks coffee.
GCL: *turns to leave, then turns back* Well, you should work on that! *storms off*

Yes, ma'am, I'll get right on calling corporate about us being the wrong store. How dare we. Also, if you needed this gift card so urgently, how has it not been a priority for the rest of the day, when Starbucks opened at 6? *sigh*

If you're going to call to ask about the price of an item, do know what the item is, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease

Caller: HEY YA'LL HADSRAFRAGHSGD POUND OF THAT CHEESE!
Me: ...Excuse me? Could you repeat that?
Caller: YEAH I wanted to know what the price of a pound of that cheese.
Me: What cheese is it?
Caller: That cheese! You had it sitting on top of your freezer, what's a pound of it?

It must'a taken five minutes to figure out what the hell he was going on about - he spoke really fast and over me whenever I tried to speak up. We have no freezer in our department, the guy couldn't even tell me what kind of cheese it was, took two tries to get the colour of it, which was orange. I suggested it might be a cheddar, then he started rambling on about Cheese Brand that isn't carried by our department. It went on and on 'cause he wouldn't answer my questions asking about what the cheese was like.

I didn't figure it out until he said it was spicy - then I remembered we had some samples of Chilli Gouda or some sort out earlier today. I told him of such and then he seemed convinced that Cheese Brand must have it and sell it cheap. It took a few tries to convince him it was not Cheese Brand and not cheddar. When I tried to go off to get the price for him, he went on about how much he loved it, and then started comparing the prices of our products to our competitor's! Everything they sell is cheaper, yadda yadda. The most I could get in was "Yeah-" and "Uh-", and the price of our BF ham.

He got to the topic of bologna and I again told him I was going to get the price of the Gouda. I left the phone on the counter, got a piece of the cheese off the shelf, did some math in my head (we sell by grams), and got back to him a minute or two later - and he was still talking on as if I hadn't gone away. I just interjected with the price which he thought was good, and I was -so- thankful he got to good-byes soon after that. I thought he'd keep talking long after my ear had fallen off. @_@


tl;dr: Caller calls asking for the price of a cheese he has totally no clue what is, talks over me, rambles on about how the competitor's prices are cheaper than ours, and doesn't take notice of that I've left to find the price of what he's asked for.

(edited to change a pronoun and general sentence failure)

Alright...soo.

I work for an online gaming company (But not gambling) as email support. I just got this mail and am so baffled that I just had to share this with you guys. More of a WTF than a suck, I suppose...

(  SHOOT TO KILL )


Oh, OH, forgot to add that this came from like connerhomedecor@aol.com (Not the real address)not like...you know, a .gov of any kind XD